<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>i'm not going anywhere by bi_darr</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236990">i'm not going anywhere</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_darr/pseuds/bi_darr'>bi_darr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst With A Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mental Health Issues, i hc leah as having ocd so a lot of her behavior will align with those symptoms, leah rilke needs a hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:08:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28236990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_darr/pseuds/bi_darr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm here. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>or </p><p>Leah has been having a tough time since getting off the island and Fatin is there to comfort her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>256</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'm not going anywhere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was upset about the lack of Leah and Fatin fics so I decided to write this.</p><p>trigger warnings- I talk about Leah's mental state in this. Nothing graphic. Just her thought process. There is also a very brief mention of her and Jeff's relationship.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The warmth of the blanket swallowed Leah as she laid in her bed. She had barely gotten a blink of sleep. Although, that wasn't unusual for her. Ever since she got back from the island, she hadn’t been getting much sleep. It had been 3 months now since everyone had been off the island but she still wasn't used to having a blanket to cover herself with, on a soft, clean mattress that she had missed so much. It was comfortable, truly, but her mind was never able to shut off enough for her to get sleep. And when she was able to fall asleep, she was jolting awake only a few short hours later. </p><p>It was all so overwhelming and terrifying. She was hoping that once they were off the island for good, away from Dr. Klein and the two “investigators”, that her mind would calm down again. She was wrong though. Unbelievably wrong. Her paranoia and obsessiveness escalated like a roller coaster. Fears haunted her left and right. She didn't know who she could trust anymore. </p><p>Dot and Fatin stuck to their plan of moving into an apartment together. Toni moved down to Texas with Shelby, Rachel and Nora moved back to New York, and Martha stayed in Minnesota but made sure to keep in close contact with everyone. That left Leah all alone. She felt more alone than ever. Fatin had suggested that Leah move in with her and Dot, but she turned it down, not wanting to intrude. Now she was left alone all day with nothing but her thoughts. She couldn't stop thinking about the island and everything before it. She couldn't stop thinking about them being on the island and having to fend for themselves. She couldn't stop thinking about her relationship with Jeff. How creepy he was. A grown-ass man, going after a high schooler. She scolded herself for not recognizing sooner how awful he was. Fatin had tried to tell her but Leah had just grown angry and got defensive.</p><p>Fatin. Another thing she had not been able to stop thinking about. Fatin was the only person who listened to her. She was there for her even on her darkest days. She stayed and listened and held her. She wasn't scared off by her paranoia or obsessiveness. No, she just...comforted her. A part of Leah was starting to regret turning down the offer of her moving in with Fatin and Dot. Anything would be better than where she was at now. Alone. She had thought about texting Fatin, telling her that she had changed her mind and that she wants to move in with her but ultimately chose not to. She assumed that Fatin had already forgotten about her. Didn't want anything to do with her probably. </p><p>That’s why Leah was surprised that morning when she received a text from Fatin saying that she was in town, wanted to meet up with her, and chat over coffee or something. She contemplated what to respond with for much longer than necessary but decided to keep it short and simple and responded with what time and where would be best. At that, Leah quickly set her phone down, already being filled with dread.</p><p>She didn't want to look at her phone, anxiously waiting for a reply, so she turned it face down and dragged herself out of her bed. She sluggishly walked over to her bathroom and turned her shower to the hottest setting. It had been a while since she had last taken a shower. Often too depressed to get out of bed, let alone take a shower. She preferred to have the shower turned as hot as possible to ground her. It prevented her from getting too deep in her thoughts. It left her skin sore for a few hours, but she didn't mind. She quickly finished up, brushed her hair and teeth, and got dressed. She was meeting Fatin in 30 minutes but wanted to be early, just in case. Grabbing her phone and keys, she made her way out of her apartment and walked towards the elevator. Until her mind decided to get the best of her again. 

</p><p>‘What if I forgot to lock my door?’ Leah speedily made her way back to her apartment. She turned the knob and pushed. It was locked. Of course, it was. What was she thinking? She turned around to go back outside, but she still had an uneasy feeling in her gut. She turned around and tried her door again. Still locked. She took her key out, unlocked her door then locked it again, and again, and again. This went on for much longer than she would have liked. When Leah felt calmer, not completely relaxed, but calm enough, she pulled her phone out while walking towards the elevator again. </p><p>Shit! She was supposed to be at the coffee shop 10 minutes ago to meet Fatin. She decided to go down the stairs instead. The elevator was known for being unimaginably slow. Luckily for Leah, the place where they were meeting was only a block away so she sprinted. When she made it to the cafe, she took a few moments to catch her breath outside before walking in. She instantly caught sight of Fatin. Her gorgeous, long, dark brown hair flowing down her back. She was staring at her phone while sipping on her beverage, looking like she didn't have a care in the world. Leah was starting to second guess meeting up with her now. She was getting ready to turn around and walk out but before she could, Fatin spotted her. </p><p>“Leah!” Fatin got up from her seat and started walking towards Leah. “I feel like it’s been so long.”</p><p>Leah just let out an awkward chuckle. “Heh, yeah it has.”</p><p>“Well, I grabbed us a table over there if you want to come and chill,” Fatin said enthusiastically, the smile never leaving her face.</p><p>“Yeah of course. Of course.” Leah followed Fatin over to the table, sitting down. “Sorry, I’m late. I um-- I got caught up in something.” </p><p>Fatin could tell something was off but decided not to push at it just yet.<br/>
</p><p>“So girl,” Fatin said, taking a sip of her coffee, “What’s been going on in Leah’s world?”</p><p>Leah nervously scratched at her finger. “Oh um, not much. Just, you know, adjusting to everything still.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Fatin paused for a second. Thinking. “Yeah, me too. That island was tough shit.”</p><p>Fatin looked down, noticing Leah scratching at her finger. She looked back up and offered a small smile. Leah returned it but Fatin could see in her eyes that she was somewhere else. </p><p>“Hey uh-- do want to order something to drink. Or eat?” Fatin asked Leah. Concerned for her. It looked like she hadn’t gotten a blink of sleep in weeks. </p><p>“Oh no, I’m good. I had breakfast before I left.” Leah knew that was a lie. She also knew that Fatin didn't believe her. These days, she never had an appetite anymore. She started scratching at her finger again, this time more aggressively. Warm fingers on her hand stopped her though. She missed that. She missed Fatin's warm touch whenever she compulsively picked at her skin, or when she would unconsciously pull out her hair. At this thought, tears started to collect in her eyes, but she blinked them away before they spilled. </p><p>“Do you want to get out of here?” Fatin asked. “Maybe go for a ride or something?”</p><p>Leah nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p> </p><p>Leah’s head bumped against the car window as she leaned on it, staring as the cars passed by. Silence hung in the air between her and Fatin. Not an uncomfortable silence though. Like when it’s just you and a stranger alone in an elevator as the eerie lobby music plays. No. This was comfortable. Gentle. It made her feel at peace for the first time in 3 months. Somehow, Fatin just had that effect on her.</p><p>After a few more minutes of silence, Leah lifted her head off the window. “Where are you taking us?”</p><p>Fatin briefly looked over to Leah before turning her eyes back to the road. “It’s a surprise,” she responded with a smirk. </p><p>After an hour had passed, Fatin pulled onto the side of the road, next to a small rundown building. She walked over to Leah’s side of the car and opened the door. </p><p>“You coming?” Fatin asked Leah </p><p>Leah got out of the car, deciding not to ask questions. Fatin pushed open the door and led the way. She and Leah started their descent down the stairs. At this point, Leah had started to become paranoid. ‘Had Fatin brought her here to murder her?’ This was obviously an irrational thought but still, she was nervous. Finally, they made it downstairs. In front of her was a small room. Leah noticed a cozy little couch with a bong next to it and lots of neon signs hanging up. There was also a mini-fridge to her right and a little shelf of snacks to her left. </p><p>“What is this place?” Leah finally asked after looking around. </p><p>Fatin smiled, “This is where I would always go to get away from my irritating parents. It made me get my mind off of things for a few hours.”</p><p>“It’s nice,” Leah responded, “Cozy.”</p><p>Fatin gestured towards the couch, “Let’s take a seat, shall we?”</p><p>For the next few hours, she and Fatin caught up on everything about the last 3 months. Though, Leah conveniently left out how her mental health had drastically gotten worse. They caught up on how everyone else was doing. How Dot and Fatin’s living situation was working out.</p><p>“My offer still stands, you know?” Fatin said.</p><p>Leah looked over to her, confused.</p><p>“You can move in with me and Dot.”</p><p>“Oh. That offer.”</p><p>“Yeah. Dot and I would love to have you as a roommate. Just think about it.”</p><p>Leah nodded her head, “Okay. I’ll think about it.”</p><p>They talked a little more. About memories of the island, happy ones only though, when soon, it was evening, the sun started to set and Leah let out a yawn. </p><p>Fatin stared at Leah with a smile. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”</p><p>Together, the two girls walked up the stairs, got into the car, and started the drive back. Something about being around Fatin made Leah feel so calm. She couldn’t explain it and she didn’t know why but it did. Maybe that was why for the first time in the 3 months of being back, she was able to peacefully close her eyes without her mind attacking her at every moment. But before she was able to fully fall asleep, Fatin pulled up outside her apartment. </p><p>Leah started to unbuckle her seat belt when she had a thought. “Hey, do you have anywhere to stay tonight? I mean-- like if you-- if you maybe need a place to stay, you can stay here tonight.”</p><p>Fatin smirked, “It would be an honor to stay with you tonight.”</p><p>Leah’s face was now a bright pink, which definitely didn't go unnoticed by Fatin. “Okay. Cool.”</p><p>They made their way to the elevator, waited, and went into Leah’s apartment. </p><p>As Leah walked in, she was suddenly struck with a realization. “Oh shit. I forgot. I don't have a couch yet. I’ve been meaning to get one but I haven’t gotten around to it,” she awkwardly played with her hands, “I only have my bed.”</p><p>“That works for me,” Fatin smiled, “I’ll take the left side.” And with that, Fatin proceeded to Leah’s bedroom. </p><p>Leah stood there for a second, taking everything in that had happened over the course of the day that led to this moment. When she was finished thinking, she made her way to the bathroom to get ready for bed and then walked to her bedroom, the bedroom that she was sharing with Fatin. She saw that Fatin had already made herself comfortable in the bed. Leah turned off the light and slipped under the covers. After a few moments, she felt Fatin’s arm wrap around her. It’s not like this was foreign for them. On the island, when Leah was having a rough night, Fatin would always take Leah into her arms and hold her until they both fell asleep. Leah wasn’t aware of how much she missed physical comfort until now.</p><p>She shut her eyes tight and let the tears come pouring out. It had been so long since she had cried. Just cried and let it all out. She tried to stay quiet, she tried to stop her body from shaking but she couldn’t. Months upon months of trauma finally released themselves. The island, how she was trapped there, with no way out. How her paranoia had gotten the best of her. Her Jeff situation.  How he had manipulated her into thinking she was the one in the wrong. She only ever wanted someone to love her. Everything she had bottled up for the past year came spilling out. Her body shook with the force of an earthquake. Tears fell with such force and were already starting to soak her covers. Fatin just held her, tight. </p><p>“Please,” Leah managed to say in between sobs, “Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me.”</p><p>Leah kept repeating, ‘Please don't leave me,’ over and over, beginning to sound like a broken record.</p><p>Fatin just held her tighter. </p><p>“I’m here. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” </p><p>And at that moment, for the first time, Leah didn't feel alone. She didn't feel unloved. She knew she had Fatin. She knew she always would.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>